Well Vantageman - - Everything you wrote IS terribly witty. One thing is for sure - - I have been craving a chocolate malt for several weeks now.
Here is my view on the order of getting a guitar playable.
1 Take off the strings.
2. Is the neck straight? Or at least slightly bowed in (not bowed out). Usually a truss rod adjustment (as you have found) will cure this. Just make MINOR adjustments because you definately do NOT want to mess up your rod!!!!!!!!! I took a straight edge ruler (about 18 inches) and filed notches were the frets would be so that the ruler would lie flat on the fingerboard (not the frets). Now you want to adjust the truss rod until the ruler lies as totally flat as possible on the center of the fingerboard.
3. Fret filing. If the frets are not too far gone already it's time to do a fret filing. IF YOU DONT FEEL COMFORTABLE DOING THIS - - DONT DO IT. YOU COULD SCREW UP EVERYTHING. Cover everything like the pickups so they don't collect metal filings etc. I mask off all the finger board area and the nut to protect them. A flat 6 inch fine tooth file mounted to the edge of a 3/4 in piece of wood works nicely. Carefully, Slowly, and evenly, with gentle pressure file up and down the frets. Make sure each area gets equal amount of filing until most of the worn areas are gone. (I don't usually get rid of all the worn areas because I don't want to take off too much fret!!)
4. Fret polishing. I follow up the filing with 400 grit silicon carbide paper mounted to a sanding block. I have a piece of rubber between the block and the paper to kind of let it form to the radius profile of the frets. I put a LITTLE bit of WD-40 on the paper and polish up and down from nut to pickup until it just takes off the filing marks.
5. Fret crowning. Now here is where I am a little different. The finger board is still thoroughly masked off. I take 600 grit paper and with the soft pad of my finger, I polish the fret back and forth from 1st string to 6th string. The soft pad of my finger sort of rounds off the sharp edges of the fret and works really well. I know there are crowning files out there but this works for me. Follow it up with a little 800 grit for a nice shine. I even use 1200 grit. Boy are they shiny when you are done.
6. Remove all the masking and restring the guitar.
7. Nut slots. If the slots are too deep the string will buzz on the first fret. If they are not deep enough the guitar can be pretty miserable to play. Suffice it to say the slot should be cut so that the string is a few milli-inches higher than the first fret. It is hard to explain, so here is a link to one man's opinion. I tend to agree.
http://www.frets.com/FRETSPages/Musicia ... ction.html
8. Once you are happy with your nut, tune your guitar to pitch and readjust the truss rod.
9. Saddle height and intonation. Adjust the saddles for your style of play. Generally the 6th string will be adjusted higher than the 1st because the larger gage of the string the "bigger" the string vibrates. The profile of the saddles will resemble the radius of the fingerboard and frets. The intonation is set using a good guitar tuner (or a better ear than I have). The 12th fret harmonic should be exactly the same pitch as pressing on the 12th fret and playing. Adjusting the forward and backward motion of the saddle will correct the differences.
Well that's my diatribe for now. PLEASE be careful doing this kind of work. Unless you are prepared for the worst.